Well my first full week here was during the highest point in Calgary all year. The Calgary Stampede. It is a 10 day rodeo, agricultural exhibition, and festival. Basically it is an excuse for the whole town to party, wear cowboy hats and boots, and eat a ridiculous amount of pancakes. The city, local communities, businesses, and organizations all host FREE pancake breakfasts the whole time. I am not talking about some frozen pancakes thrown into a warming pan; I’m talking about fresh hot pancakes, bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, etc. It is crazy. I digress…
The Stampede starts every year (this is the 99th) with a big parade. This year was no exception. And to top it all of the Duke and Duchess were here! Almost half a million people showed up lining the streets downtown. We arrived downtown at about 6:45…completely unprepared. Everyone down there had their camping chairs, coffee, breakfasts, snacks…cowboy hats and boots. We had ourselves and a Ziploc baggie of cereal…to be fair, at this point we didn’t even have any camping chairs. In fact all we had in our house was one beach chair, a TV, and a queen sized bed. We had NO idea what we were doing. So we basically stood on the side of the road right behind this nice family. It was obviuously NOT their first rodeo (oh yes I did). They had a ton of chairs, cameras, food, drinks, blankets, hats, boots, the whole thing. The close the parade got the more people started to fill in and we realized we were going to have a problem. The crowd got about 10 deep and with us standing, no one could see. In true Canadian fashion, the family in front of us shuffled kids around and offered us two of their chairs…RIGHT in front. How nice?! They also chatted us up and invited us out to the resort they own. We sat right down and got ready…this was at about 7:30. Little did we know we had a long wait. The streets were packed and everyone was so excited to see William and Kate. Finally commotion starts at about 9, police start coming through, car with flags, the whole nine yards. Cameras poised…here we go! Wizzzzzzzzz!
The Stampede starts every year (this is the 99th) with a big parade. This year was no exception. And to top it all of the Duke and Duchess were here! Almost half a million people showed up lining the streets downtown. We arrived downtown at about 6:45…completely unprepared. Everyone down there had their camping chairs, coffee, breakfasts, snacks…cowboy hats and boots. We had ourselves and a Ziploc baggie of cereal…to be fair, at this point we didn’t even have any camping chairs. In fact all we had in our house was one beach chair, a TV, and a queen sized bed. We had NO idea what we were doing. So we basically stood on the side of the road right behind this nice family. It was obviuously NOT their first rodeo (oh yes I did). They had a ton of chairs, cameras, food, drinks, blankets, hats, boots, the whole thing. The close the parade got the more people started to fill in and we realized we were going to have a problem. The crowd got about 10 deep and with us standing, no one could see. In true Canadian fashion, the family in front of us shuffled kids around and offered us two of their chairs…RIGHT in front. How nice?! They also chatted us up and invited us out to the resort they own. We sat right down and got ready…this was at about 7:30. Little did we know we had a long wait. The streets were packed and everyone was so excited to see William and Kate. Finally commotion starts at about 9, police start coming through, car with flags, the whole nine yards. Cameras poised…here we go! Wizzzzzzzzz!
Here is the picture I got:
Yep. That was it. They FLEW through. I mean are you kidding me?! I had been waiting for over 2 hours to get a good glimpse and all I got was a split second view of them in the backseat of a Town Car and a picture of Prince William’s hand. Not. Cool.
Before I get to pictures from the parade and snarky commentary let me say one more thing. It was COLD. Like COLD COLD. I was freezing my butt off. I had on jeans, boots, a long sleeve shirt, and a North Face jacket. I was cursing the whole time that I should have thrown my down liner in. The temperature wasn’t so bad…maybe low 50’s (still cold) but the wind was out of control. It was whipping down the streets between the tall buildings. So while I was bundled up and praying for warmth most everyone else was dressed like the were going to the beach. There were 65415 girls in cutoffs or sundresses, most with cowboy boots, a lot with flip flops. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A man actually said to me; “It’s pretty clear you aren’t from around here…what you have on is what we wear when its about 40 below”. This statement got to me for a few reasons:
· Is there even clothing in existent that will keep me warm in winter? Or in fall for that matter?
· FORTY below??
· Surely he means Fahrenheit?!
· Wait…FORTY below? He has to be kidding.
· Are we going to die up here?
Ok, on with the pictures and videos.
Here is how it started.
A marching band playing Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" AND girls in pink glitter shirt and pink tassel chaps doing tricks??! SIGN ME UP! I was already telling Britton how next year I am going to be one of them. Never mind the fact that I am scared to death of horses...and committing to anything.
Next, Mounties! I honestly have no idea what they are or what they do and how they differ from other police or whatever but they do look quite dapper in their red uniforms atop their trusty steeds, no?
Scottish bagpipe players...I have no idea why in a totally Western themed parade there were bagpipe players but this was one of MANY so apparently there is a Scottish tie here somewhere. I don’t know and I don't feel like looking it up. Can we have a side chat here? Is it me or does basically ANYTHING played on a bagpipe seem sad? They could be playing Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and I would still think it sounded sad. Conversely, the accordion...that thing makes everything sound happy.
A carriage I am pretty positive was a replica out of Cinderella. WHY were theDude Duke and Duchess not riding in THAT? Town Car? SNOOZE.
And then...the army. Normal. Followed by 3 tanks...HUH? I can safely say I have never seen 3 giant tanks in the middle of a parade. Leslie, this is for you. Please note the name of one of the tanks. You're welcome in advance.
Next, Mounties! I honestly have no idea what they are or what they do and how they differ from other police or whatever but they do look quite dapper in their red uniforms atop their trusty steeds, no?
Scottish bagpipe players...I have no idea why in a totally Western themed parade there were bagpipe players but this was one of MANY so apparently there is a Scottish tie here somewhere. I don’t know and I don't feel like looking it up. Can we have a side chat here? Is it me or does basically ANYTHING played on a bagpipe seem sad? They could be playing Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and I would still think it sounded sad. Conversely, the accordion...that thing makes everything sound happy.
A carriage I am pretty positive was a replica out of Cinderella. WHY were the
And then...the army. Normal. Followed by 3 tanks...HUH? I can safely say I have never seen 3 giant tanks in the middle of a parade. Leslie, this is for you. Please note the name of one of the tanks. You're welcome in advance.
Next up and BULL. And a man riding atop him. Yeah, I didn't stutter. A man riding a giant bull down the middle of a parade route lined with innocent bystanders. Horns a blazin'. I swear to God I think we were the only ones who thought just MAYBE that was a risky move. Especially since this is a Western, rodeo thing and everyone is pretty aware of their behavior. Call me a bull hater or what you will (a city girl who knows nothing of bulls, farms, bull riding, farming, whatever) but it is my understanding that bulls aren't exactly lap dogs. All of my encounters they seem to be snorting, trying to buck someone off and basically trample them to death, or charging you with their horns down. Not this one. He was just a clop clopping (that's a technical term) down the street with a saddle and a big man riding him. Oh Canada...you are nothing if not full of twists and turns.
Draft horses! There were tons of them and they were SO pretty. Some examples below. One thing I learned is there are more than just Clydesdales in the draft horse family...I blame Budweiser.
My favorite horse of the parade...look at that mane! And that flowing ankle hair. Brown, White, Black. J’Adore.
Mini team of horses...proof that anything mini is entertaining.
All in all a seemingly nice parade...and then...this happened...
Yes. That’s right the Ferret Rescue and Education Society. Complete with mini ferret floats. Look, if any of you are on board with this we need to talk and reassess our friendship or maybe you need to move to Canada. As far as I am concerned the only education needed about ferrets is that they are gross and they bite. Get a dog and let's call it a day.
You see this one? It says 'Surrender'. I gathered it was in reference to turning over your ferret if you felt unable to care for it
Lastly remember how I said I was freezing my rear end off and was wearing boots, jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a jacket? Here is how most other ladies were dressed for the balmy 50 degree and fiercely windy day...
Make your own snarky comment. However, if it is about me please be polite and say it behind my back. J
Hold the phone…I know have a cowboy hat. Write your own jokes:
Rebecca ____________________________________________________.
Yeehaw!
Love, Rebecca
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