Adventures in Real Estate: Part 2 OR Why Our House Is So Canadian.

So where I left off before was the point where we once again were homeless.  Again we were  on the hunt (me online, Britton on foot) for a place to hang our hat.  SEVERAL houses later and still no luck.  Finally Britton finds one that is suitable.  It’s new, fenced in yard, double garage, separate office for me, enough bedrooms for visitors (4 bedrooms total!) AND the owners aren’t members of The Church of Dog-Haters weirdos who hate dogs.  He has me on the phone and the computer looking up the address to see some online pictures of it.  I like what I see!  Its clean, big, yard for Daisy, etc.  But then whilst continuing to look through google results something catches my eye…Calgary Health Region…uhhh…hold up.

So Britton is on the phone going, “Should I get it? Should I get it?  Should I sign the contract?”  Meanwhile I am frantically scanning this 5 page document as fast as I can and seeing words like ‘mould growth’ (Side bar: it took me about 2 minutes to realize what that was.  Mould?  I breezed right by that one.  And furthermore, don’t you think mould sounds way less ominous than good old American MOLD?  I feel like I would be sitting around drinking tea with organic honey while discussing mould.  Someone says mold and I immediately cringe and want to bathe in isopropyl alcohol).  I see words like, combustion gases, CO2 production, electrical wiring tampering, and chemical/fertilizer contamination.  Say WHAT?  What in the WORLD is going on in this place?  I am immediately having nightmares that this is a house covered in MOLD that may or may not explode at any given moment because there are combustible gases flowing through it.  At this point I am freaking out and trying to tell him to get out of there ASAP and don’t believe whatever this random person showing you the house is saying.  Because the document, by the way, says that the house must be vacated immediately and that all products of rot and decay must be removed.

UMM…NOTHANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Fast forward to the next day when I have a chance to further read through the document and Britton has a chance to find out what the deal really is.  I start rereading and notice something I missed:

·         “Excess heat and humidity produced during the plant growing activities are suitable conditions for mould growth.”

·         “All materials related to the plant growing operation that are remaining behind, including pots, soil, fans, lights, cutting tools, and general rubbish, shall be removed and disposed of and a manifest attesting to this disposal provided to Calgary Health Region.”

Whoa…I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume their little operation wasn’t growing prize winning roses or a butterfly garden…but rather more of an herb garden? (Oh yes I did just do that…)

Yep…we are living in a Canadian marijuana growing house. 

According to the neighbors these people had QUITE the operation going on.  No one lived there (which seems like a waste to me…pass the herb!  Oh wait…there WAS that pesky mould and flammable gases…).  The farmers would show up at the house daily to check on their little nuggets (yep, did it again) and would get there VERY early (like 5 am) and shovel the driveway so that it appeared someone lived there.  OK, so aside from the fact that you have to get there at 5 am and then tend to a bunch of temperamental plants you have to SHOVEL THE DRIVEWAY OF A HOUSE YOU DON’T LIVE IN?  WHY would anyone sign up for that?  Especially because we all know that it snows plenty there so this had to be an almost daily occurrence.  The demand for weed in Canada must be serious for people to go through so much trouble.

The neighbors also informed us that they snuck in the back yard to look in the windows and that these people had furniture all set up and TV’s and get this…cookies out on a plate.  GENIOUS!  Let’s see, no one lives there, some guy or girl randomly comes by at 5 am daily goes inside for a few minutes, shovels the driveway and then leaves…BUT wait…they have cookies out!  SO clearly there MUST be no funny business going on! RIGHT?   I’d like to point out right here something my mom and aunt always say…”Why do you think they call it dope”  If you need help from me explaining that to you then this might be the career for you.

Finally, we were told that when this house was gutted and cleaned out that they brought in two 30 foot dumpsters (I’m guessing they were more like 10 meter metre or something); one for all of the gutted material and trash, and one that was filled entirely with nothing more than 5 gallon (no idea what the equivalent on that one is) buckets that had been used to grow the plants in.  Can you imagine?

So I bet you are wondering a few things:

1.    Are y’all seriously living in this house?

Yeah buddy!  In case you missed it.  Here are some pictures.  It is 4 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms and about 2400 sq. feet.  We got this house as a lease purchase so will be able to put a portion of our rent monthly to doing things around the house.  Come visit and we will put your ass to work take you to do some fun things!

2.    Are you and Britton going to become farmers?
Yeah right.  We do have to have an inspection every 3 months from the drug authorities making sure we aren’t growing marijuana.  I told Britton to let them know that would be no problem but just so they know if I was going to be running an illegal drug operation I can assure you I would not be growing plants…WAY to much trouble.  I would be a meth maker.  Cough syrup and a stove…way easier.  Plus I could double time and get dinner whipped up.  Multi tasker!

3.    Is your house still full of mould?

No way.  This house had to basically be gutted and redone with the walls treated chemically to get everything back in tip top shape.  Also as another bous we got ALL brand new appliances.  Stove, fridge, dishwasher, and even new front loading washer and dryer.  YES!

4.    Are you going to start throwing U’s in your words because you think you are fancy?

You. Can. Count. On. It.  Honour, colour, favour…but why stop there? Centre, litre, practise, licence, libertye.  And you know what?  I have decided I’m going to start making little dashes in my 7’s and 0’s AND replacing commas when listing large numbers with periods.  How do you like that, eh?

5.    Can I see a copy of this document you speak of?
Get ready…its titillating.  http://www.calgaryhealthregion.ca/publichealth/envhealth/inspection_orders/Orders_Drugs/2008/Inactive/229_Kincora_Heights_NW_Calgary_March_3_2008_I.pdf

Crazy stuff!!  As an update: Daisy leaves to fly up on July 2nd.  And I am leaving to fly up the morning of July 4th...oh the irony.  I would love to see everyone and spend some time together before I go.  I'll be here for another 10 days or so!



Adventures in Real Estate: Part 1

The path to having a roof over our head was a rough one indeed.  In late May we found a great house.  Plenty of room, fenced in yard, double garage (this is important because in Canada it gets so cold in the winter that your engine can freeze and be ruined.  You have 2 options: a climate controlled garage OR a engine block heater you have to plug in at night or something.  We went with garage).   Moving on,  the ad for the house says, ‘no dogs’.  The property management company ASSURES us over and over that our dog is no problem and that we have nothing to worry about.  Everything is a go and Britton was thrilled to not be in a hotel any longer.  On a Friday night at about 8:00 pm they finally tell him he can swing by and get the keys.  He packs up his truck with everything he has been lugging around for a couple of weeks and heads on over.  And that’s when the stuff hit the fan.

“Umm…you know how we told you the dog was no problem?”, says the property management lady.

“Yes…”, says Britton.

“Well…I was wrong.  The people that own the house will not allow it…so…”

You can imagine how well that went over.  When Britton relayed that message I think we were both ready to scrap Canada…little did we know this adventure would only get weirder.  When the woman told Britton that the reason for no dogs was that they didn’t want their floor scratched up I burst out laughing.  Anyone that knows out little family knows 2 things are very true.

1. Daisy won’t be scratching anything…that would be difficult to do while sleeping.
2. They should be more worried about me and my high heels scratching their precious little floors 

Britton assured them there was NO way that our dog would be an issue and if that was their concern we would be happy to pay a very large non-refundable pet deposit on top of our other one month rent deposit AND we would also be willing to have a clause added to our contract making us liable for any damage to the floors.  The property agent was seemingly very surprised and told us that very well may change the owners mind and that she was call them with our offer.  She scurried off to make the call and came back with their answer…no.  No amount of money would make them change their mind.  At this point Britton calmly told the agent he appreciated her obvious lie and could she tell him the REAL reason for the no dogs policy because it would be almost ridiculous to turn down that offer.

The reason was as follows:  The owners are planning on moving back in to their house and they don’t want there to be any allergy issues.  Reasonable?  Yes.  Oh I forgot to mention; they aren’t planning on moving back for FOUR years and they have NO current allergy issues. Nevermind the fact the we have no intention of living there for more than a year.  You can’t argue with crazy and any of you who think that is a reasonable thought are at least one of the following; hypochondriacs, dog haters, sissies, Canadian, president of your high school chess club, members of a jelly of the month club.  You may or may not drink Zima...WITH a Jolly Rancher in the bottom for flavor.

At that point we just said forget it and started our search over.  More headaches…moving with a dog to Canada is a P-A-I-N.  In a city BLANKETED with parks, all of which are VERY dog friendly, finding someone ok with you bringing your dog to live is seriously difficult.  Of the more ridiculous reasons we heard?  “The owners will NOT allow dogs in their home…they are very religious.”  Umm…I’m sorry..did you say because the owners are ‘very religious’?  What religion includes a belief system that is anti-dog?

I can't even deal...

Stay turned for Real Estate: Part 2 where we learn about Canadian Drug Enforcement Agency...

PS - The movers came yesterday and all of our belongings are en route.  No turning back now...eh?

Here we go...

So, for those of you who do not know Britton and I are moving to Canada.  If you had told me last year at our wedding that we would be living in Canada I would have straight laughed in your faced and probably thrown a drink on you...one of those is true...your call.  I am going to use this blog to keep everyone up to speed to what our new life is like and all of the things we are doing.  With that said I thought the first post it may make sense to have a little question and answer session.  So hold on to your hockey sticks, let's do this!

WHY in God's name are you moving to Canada?
Good question.   Basically because we love cold weather so much and we just thought "Hey!  Canada seems pretty cold and far away; let's go there!"  NOT.  Britton was offered an amazing opportunity with Deloitte in their Capitol Projects group.  He will be dealing quite a lot with oil and gas work which is HUGE in Alberta.  So off we go to Calgary, Alberta.

Wait...it's not Alberta, Canada?
(I don't know if any of you have asked this but frankly I had no clue about Canadian geography)  Sort of;  Alberta is the province (like our American states) and Calgary is the city.  So we are moving to Calgary, Alberta.

Where in the world is that?
RIGHT?!  Go to the far western side of Montana and go straight up the Rocky Mountains crossing the border, keep going for about 4 hours.  Hi!  You're in Calgary!

What time zone is that?
Mountain.  So we are 2 hours back from Atlanta time.  So don't be calling me at 7:30 am on your way to work.  At 5:30 am I will be asleep.

Umm, Rebecca...it is cold there...and you are going to freeze...
OH REALLY?  IT IS??  I had NO idea.  Thanks for bringing that to my attention!  I guess I better pack a coat!  To put this in perspective for you the average high in January in Atlanta is in the 40's.  Highs in Calgary?  Low 20's…maybe.   The only months where there is no snow?  June, July, and August...yikes.

Uhh...Do y'all ski?
Nope.  Guess we're going to learn.

How about hockey?
That’s really cute…no.

How long are you planning on staying in Canada?
Hopefully no longer than 3 years…RIGHT BRITTON?

Are you getting another job when you move there?
Nope!  I am very fortunate to work for a firm where I can work remotely.  So my morning commute will basically be walking downstairs.  YES!

Are you excited/scared/sad/nervous?
YES, YES, YES, YES.  Excited for an adventure, learning how to ski, seeing things I would otherwise never see.  Scared because we will be 2500 miles from home and family and friends.  Sad for the same reason.  Nervous for the same reason.  We already have a giant list (see below)  of all of the things we want to do when we are there and that makes is more exciting!

Is Daisy going with you?
WHAT?  Of COURSE!  What kind of mother would I be to leave her behind!  Plus she loves snow so this will be like a dream for her!

They have socialized healthcare there…does that apply to you?
You bet your ass it does.  We will now be card carrying members of Alberta’s social medical plan.  I will keep you posted on how that goes.  So far I have learned two things:  1. No prescriptions can be transferred there.  We have to establish all new healthcare and new prescriptions.  Awesome.  2.  There medical plan does cover child birth…but not epidurals.  (Blaney I can hear you cheering from my desk  in Georgia for that one)

So are y’all going to have children there?
Uhhh…I have no idea.  Not anytime soon.  I mean if we do that then our child could never be president of the USA!

When do you leave?
Britton is already there working and in our house (sans furniture) and I leave July 5^th.  My mom, Britton’s mom, my brother Wynn, and Daisy are making the drive there.  We thought it would be nice to make a cross country trip out of it and see some interesting things!

When can I come visit?
ANYTIME!  We have plenty of room!  We have a 4 bedroom house so there is lots of room for visitors.

Things to come?
Look for more soon on our house, things to do in Canada, fun Canadian facts, tales on our cultural differences…there are more than you think…guess who boozes it up during lunch time??

Your blog is SERIOUSLY ugly.  Did you do that on purpose?
I appreciate that.  I have no idea how to blog.  This is step one.  If anyone out there can please help me I would love you forever.  Do you know anyone who is a blog designer?  Are you a blog designer?  Is that even what people are called?  HELP!

XOXO
Rebecca and Britton (and Daisy too!)