1.People love RV’s here.EVERYONE has one.EVERYONE.Pop-ups, pull behinds, ones that insert into your truck bed, ones that you drive, etc.They are everywhere.And the best part?People park them in their driveways.Lovely.Our neighborhood is littered with RV’s.I’m assuming since there is such an expanse of land if you are to drive anywhere there is a serious chance there will be no hotel and you better be prepared.
Creepily taken picture from my iphone while running. My neighbor was outisde cleaning his RV and suspicious of my photo snapping.
2.Everyone parks on the street or in their driveway.Not in their garage.I don’t get it but at any given time 85% of people have their car on the street or driveway not tucked neatly into their garage.My research from walking and running around our neighborhood concludes this to be because Canadians have MORE CRAP THAN YOU CAN EVEN IMAGINE.Peoples garages look like an episode out or Hoarders.Due to this phenomenon they have…
3.TONS of garage sales.Every weekend there are probably 5-10 garage sales in our neighborhood.I can’t even count how many there are in Calgary.And look I love a good garage sale but up here it’s basically like 2 old boxes or Ritz crackers, your Aunt Doris’s old aprons, and a used baby bath…seriously.Sometimes its just random clothing laid out in the driveway (because the cars are lining the streets generally SMACK dab in front of my house…I’m not bitter) on a blanket.
4.I learned something new about myself last week.I have seen hail.I have seen rain with hail.I have never seen a hail storm.It’s like something out of the bible.I was waiting for the locusts after experiencing 3 days of intense hail storms.Below is video and photographical evidence of said hail storm.This went on for about 20-25 minutes at a time.
Daisy eating hail stones
5.Would you like to see the flowers in my neighborhood?Behold!
I bet you are thinking; “Wow, you must have some pretty dedicated green thumbs in your hood to keep your flowers looking so fab, eh?”Well, yes, if my neighbors you mean the Calgary City Park Department.Yep, that’s right.The CITY has a fully dedicated team that tends to ALL of the landscaping in shared areas of our neighborhood.And they do it for ALL of the neighborhoods and all through downtown and the parks.The flowers here are GORGEOUS and I can only imagine how much they WE spend with our taxes on them.
6.Ice skating.One way to immediately prove you aren’t from around here is to refer to “ice skating”.Someone at a bar (don’t judge, I have to make friends somehow) told us he has a rink in his backyard so anytime we want to come over and skate please feel free to do so this winter.Uhhh.I immediately said umm, ice skate?To which he said, ice skate?We just call it skating. (you could hear the unsaid DUH in his speech) What kind of other skating is there???? (again DUH!)To which I promptly replied ROLLER SKATING!HELLO!Yeah they apparently don’t do roller skating rinks up here.WHAT?Where do kids have their birthday parties?Have you ever done the hokey pokey on skates?Chariot races?Canadians would rather race around on metal blades, freezing cold, on ICE, that you most certainly will fall and seriously injure yourself.Point AMERICA!
Britton and I come this February
7.Christmas lights.One in five houses still has their Christmas lights up.Two comments on this:
·I’m guessing their up because in January when Christmas is over they are probably frozen solid to your house and unable to be removed unless you have an ice pick and blow torch.And then by the time it thaws out up here you might as well just leave them up for next year.
·Christmas is going to be so pretty here with all of the snow and lights!Too bad I won’t be sticking around to see that.
8.Girl Scout Cookies.My favorites are Tag-a longs.My mom is a Thin Mint gal.Britton loves Samoas.All in all, they are all delicious.The Guides (Canada’s version of Girl Scouts) also sell cookies up here to raise money.Only guess how many flavors they have?12?Nope.6?Nope.3?NOPE….one.ONE FLAVOR??Well technically it’s too but hear me out.They sell a mixed box of basically what are chocolate and vanilla crème sandwich cookies…kind of like Oreos.SNORE.While they are tasty I was SO hoping for some maple cookies or something.Add that to your list of things to send me.Good ol American Girl Scout cookies. (disclaimer: Our neighbors are awesome and their daughter is so adorable and I woudl have probably bought 20 boxes from her if A) she had that many and B) we weren't broke. Feel free to send money with those Girl Scout cookies.)
9.So this happened…
What exactly is a 'rib tickler'? And since when are buffalo chicken strips, chicken strips, and chicken wings, Canadian Classics?
10.Credit cards.Dear America,I hate to bring this up when you are already flailing with a few…let’s call them…’personal issues’ but I felt the need to point out yet another complaint…You know all the uproar and mess caused by the millions of people who are victims of identity theft?Well, again, I hate to do this, but it appears Canada (and the rest of the world) has had the fix for this for say, I don’t know, YEARS.Please take a look at my Canadian Visa card.Do you see that little chip?It is IMPOSSIBLE to replicate basically and whenever my credit card is used I have to use a PIN number.So pretty much, this card is UN-clonable.So you could steal my credit card number but you would never be able to create a card with the number.That would cut down on some illegal use, no?More than 10 Canadian people have pointed out to me how strange it is that the US is behind the times on this one…I think so too.So once if you get yourself straightened out, just some food for thought on protecting more Americans from credit fraud.With Love, Rebecca
11.Random pictures from the past weeks:
Before Dresser - FREE from Kijiji (like Criagslist)
After Dresser - Paint $.75 rfom the 'Oops' Paint section at Rona (like Home Depot) and some new handles
Desk Before - FREE from Kijiji
Fresh Paint and it has a brand new life. Same hardware, just spray painted silver.
Lamb Chops from a tasty Greek restaurant
I got pizza
Canola fields. They are BRIGHT yellow and so pretty.
The entrance to our neighborhood
Lake Moraine, Banff National Park
Lake Moraine, Banff National Park. This is exactly the color of the water. I havent rectouched this or anything. I dont even know how. I took this with an iPhone.
Lake Louise on a cloudy day. Banff National Park.
View from Sulphur Mountain
View from Sulphur Mountain
View rfom Sulphur Mountain
This came in the mail from Mama this week! Thank you, I love you!
Margaritas with sissy
I don't know why this is sideways but this made it to Canada this week too. WEEEEEEE!
My sweet little lady
Yes, I'm watching Law and Order SVU. Shocking, I know.
Well my first full week here was during the highest point in Calgary all year.The Calgary Stampede. It is a 10 day rodeo, agricultural exhibition, and festival.Basically it is an excuse for the whole town to party, wear cowboy hats and boots, and eat a ridiculous amount of pancakes.The city, local communities, businesses, and organizations all host FREE pancake breakfasts the whole time.I am not talking about some frozen pancakes thrown into a warming pan; I’m talking about fresh hot pancakes, bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, etc.It is crazy.I digress…
The Stampede starts every year (this is the 99th) with a big parade.This year was no exception.And to top it all of the Duke and Duchess were here!Almost half a million people showed up lining the streets downtown.We arrived downtown at about 6:45…completely unprepared.Everyone down there had their camping chairs, coffee, breakfasts, snacks…cowboy hats and boots.We had ourselves and a Ziploc baggie of cereal…to be fair, at this point we didn’t even have any camping chairs.In fact all we had in our house was one beach chair, a TV, and a queen sized bed.We had NO idea what we were doing.So we basically stood on the side of the road right behind this nice family.It was obviuously NOT their first rodeo (oh yes I did).They had a ton of chairs, cameras, food, drinks, blankets, hats, boots, the whole thing.The close the parade got the more people started to fill in and we realized we were going to have a problem.The crowd got about 10 deep and with us standing, no one could see.In true Canadian fashion, the family in front of us shuffled kids around and offered us two of their chairs…RIGHT in front.How nice?!They also chatted us up and invited us out to the resort they own.We sat right down and got ready…this was at about 7:30.Little did we know we had a long wait.The streets were packed and everyone was so excited to see William and Kate.Finally commotion starts at about 9, police start coming through,car with flags, the whole nine yards.Cameras poised…here we go!Wizzzzzzzzz!
Here is the picture I got:
Yep.That was it.They FLEW through.I mean are you kidding me?!I had been waiting for over 2 hours to get a good glimpse and all I got was a split second view of them in the backseat of a Town Car and a picture of Prince William’s hand.Not. Cool.
Before I get to pictures from the parade and snarky commentary let me say one more thing.It was COLD.Like COLD COLD.I was freezing my butt off.I had on jeans, boots, a long sleeve shirt, and a North Face jacket.I was cursing the whole time that I should have thrown my down liner in.The temperature wasn’t so bad…maybe low 50’s (still cold) but the wind was out of control.It was whipping down the streets between the tall buildings.So while I was bundled up and praying for warmth most everyone else was dressed like the were going to the beach.There were 65415 girls in cutoffs or sundresses, most with cowboy boots, a lot with flip flops.ARE YOU KIDDING ME?A man actually said to me; “It’s pretty clear you aren’t from around here…what you have on is what we wear when its about 40 below”.This statement got to me for a few reasons:
·Is there even clothing in existent that will keep me warm in winter?Or in fall for that matter?
·FORTY below??
·Surely he means Fahrenheit?!
·Wait…FORTY below?He has to be kidding.
·Are we going to die up here?
Ok, on with the pictures and videos.
Here is how it started.
A marching band playing Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" AND girls in pink glitter shirt and pink tassel chaps doing tricks??! SIGN ME UP! I was already telling Britton how next year I am going to be one of them. Never mind the fact that I am scared to death of horses...and committing to anything.
Next, Mounties! I honestly have no idea what they are or what they do and how they differ from other police or whatever but they do look quite dapper in their red uniforms atop their trusty steeds, no?
Scottish bagpipe players...I have no idea why in a totally Western themed parade there were bagpipe players but this was one of MANY so apparently there is a Scottish tie here somewhere. I don’t know and I don't feel like looking it up. Can we have a side chat here? Is it me or does basically ANYTHING played on a bagpipe seem sad? They could be playing Bobby McFerrin's "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and I would still think it sounded sad. Conversely, the accordion...that thing makes everything sound happy.
A carriage I am pretty positive was a replica out of Cinderella. WHY were the Dude Duke and Duchess not riding in THAT? Town Car? SNOOZE.
And then...the army. Normal. Followed by 3 tanks...HUH? I can safely say I have never seen 3 giant tanks in the middle of a parade. Leslie, this is for you. Please note the name of one of the tanks. You're welcome in advance.
Wagon and horses...yeah yeah. There were about 76934 of these.
Next up and BULL. And a man riding atop him. Yeah, I didn't stutter. A man riding a giant bull down the middle of a parade route lined with innocent bystanders. Horns a blazin'. I swear to God I think we were the only ones who thought just MAYBE that was a risky move. Especially since this is a Western, rodeo thing and everyone is pretty aware of their behavior. Call me a bull hater or what you will (a city girl who knows nothing of bulls, farms, bull riding, farming, whatever) but it is my understanding that bulls aren't exactly lap dogs. All of my encounters they seem to be snorting, trying to buck someone off and basically trample them to death, or charging you with their horns down. Not this one. He was just a clop clopping (that's a technical term) down the street with a saddle and a big man riding him. Oh Canada...you are nothing if not full of twists and turns.
Draft horses! There were tons of them and they were SO pretty. Some examples below. One thing I learned is there are more than just Clydesdales in the draft horse family...I blame Budweiser.
My favorite horse of the parade...look at that mane!And that flowing ankle hair.Brown, White, Black.J’Adore.
Mini team of horses...proof that anything mini is entertaining.
All in all a seemingly nice parade...and then...this happened...
Yes. That’s right the Ferret Rescue and Education Society. Complete with mini ferret floats. Look, if any of you are on board with this we need to talk and reassess our friendship or maybe you need to move to Canada. As far as I am concerned the only education needed about ferrets is that they are gross and they bite. Get a dog and let's call it a day.
You see this one? It says 'Surrender'. I gathered it was in reference to turning over your ferret if you felt unable to care for it because you realized what an asshole you were to get one in the first place and it probably bit you and now you have rabies. But me? I now have nightmares about giant ferrets showing up, in snappy western wear, at my house and taking over forcing ME to surrender. Not ok.
Lastly remember how I said I was freezing my rear end off and was wearing boots, jeans, long sleeve shirt, and a jacket? Here is how most other ladies were dressed for the balmy 50 degree and fiercely windy day...
Make your own snarky comment.However, if it is about me please be polite and say it behind my back.J
Hold the phone…I know have a cowboy hat.Write your own jokes:
